4 Tips to Support Family Connection

Nick Perry and Juliet Allen
  1. Drop your need to be right.

    Few things are more divisive than needing to be ‘right’.

    What’s more important - loving connection or superiority? If you have a family member that imposes their need to be right on you (which can be triggering AF) reframe it.

    Upgrade the ‘Right & Wrong’ dynamic “We’re both right”. We’re doing what’s right for us based on where we’re at and what we still need to learn.

  2. Know your triggers.

    If being in a family setting rattles your cage, go and get some therapy/coaching around that. Enquire deeply into what the charge that lives in you (that gets triggered) is all about.

    This way, you can reframe the family setting and your triggers not as a burden, but a gift; a reminder of where you need to love and support yourself.

  3. Sharpen your communication sword.

    This isn’t to be right (see point 1.), it’s about learning to hold your centre when you’re feeling attacked or imposed upon. Instead of reaction/justification/defence, use your language to hold your centre and keep the conversation alive and well.

    An example could sound like “That’s interesting you feel that way, where did you form that idea on things?”

    Nurture connection if connection is important to you.

  4. Stop wishing your family member/s were different.

    This is the most important and liberating point of the 4. How would it feel to no longer wish your family members were different (especially the one you have the most charge around)?

    How would your life change if you practiced radical acceptance instead of reaction and judgement?

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Giving Freely

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How To Communicate When Conflict Arises In Relationship